Sunday, December 28, 2008
HAPPY HOLIDAYS
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Osama Bin-Hansen???

4. Athletic Ability that know no bounds - I have never once seen Luke or Lee foul out of a basketball game on 6 straight charges in the first quarter, the only one is the so called "Hansen" Heath, and the only reason is the other 9 players couldn't keep up with him because he was always 8 to 10 years older than everyone else. It was probably lonely being so advanced at such a young age, and eerily sad for him leading to this fact...
5. He listened to the song Strawberry Wine for 9 consecutive months - No self respecting Dutch Man would listen to such a sad, gay, womanly song on the premise that it was "stuck in his CD player" but an Arab would...
6. He is a Cubs fan - Cheering on a team that will never win a world series with the slogan Wait till next year is akin to believing that strapping a bomb on your body and pressing a button will give you an eternity of 77 virgins.... both are as likely as pigs flying.
So the real question is, Was Heath created to be an assassin, father assassins, bring the American sports landscape to a halt by giving bad therapy to athletes, create a false life for Osama Bin Ladin to step into and hide, or can he de-program himself and the years of indoctrination and live a happy normal life?? We may never know till its too late.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO LUKE HANSEN!!!!

Jon said " I am so good at basketball that even you and your height challenged hairy younger brother couldnt beat me two on one"
Luke " Its not fair that i have to have Heath on my team... at least let me have Dean who reminds everyone of a young Tim Hardaway with his penchant for knocking down the 3 when needed most"
Jon " Its no fair, whoever has Dean on their team would win hands down, so lets make it even, you have Heath and i get Mike Wittigan (editors note - this was after mike was in the head thingee that held his neck and head on straight for a while so his athletic ability was limited but unbeknownst to us he had trained hard on his game below the rim so his shot and Defense was greatly increased( editors note on editors note - My father did not play him nearly enough in 76er basketball and i can only hope that this drove him to excel like michael jordan getting cut from his high school team.)) And mike i still have your bat in my trunk.
The GAME BEGINS......
Mike W. "Using a move i would like to call the missed shot slammrammaroo,me and Jon started out the game hot and built a solid lead. I remember the taste of victory and the smell of perfectly manicured grass intermingled like it was yesterday."
Luke" All i remember was my dreams being suffocated by this beautiful and long limbed puerto ricans defense, Oh yeah and Heath pissed himself."
Heath " I totally pissed myself"
Jon " Heath pissed all over himself, i remember cause i was hanging from the rim above him and you could hear Mrs Hansen yelling out the window STOP BANGING"
Game Ends 11 - 3 Jon Mike wins!!
Mike " I talked to Luke earlier that day and he was all set on becoming a Pro Basketball Player and Marrying some underclassmen, After that game he walked off the court mumbling something about now he has to be a Surveyor....What the Hell is a Surveyor??? Just google map something if you need to find it, am i right ??"
Heath " That night the moon was red with blood and at 3 in the morning i woke and found Luke standing above me softly brushing my hair and all i could smell was fear"
Luke " I love my life and surveying is what i wanted.......
I cant tell you what might have happened to Luke if he hadnt played in the game that day, what i can tell you is this, Jodi would have still married him.. Im not saying she would have stalked him, but when she would look at him, It was like the Sharks in Finding Nemo... Her eyes would dilate and the hunt was on....
Please comment on who you would like to see next in this blog......