Abraham Lincoln

I know that the Lord is always on the side of the right. But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord's side.

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Sunday, December 28, 2008

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

This Post is a Holiday Letter to all you Family and Friends

Early on in the year we found out that the little buddy was on the way. Finding out was the most exciting and frightening moment in our life. Living in Davis still and concentrating on school was her priority and i was working and driving to the Bay Area everyday.

In the summer Grace graduated from UC Davis with Honors and started studying for the MCAT, she aced it and currently is Interviewing with many schools. I starting playing baseball again and was pitching for the Blue Jays in the NABA. It was hot most of the summer and we had fun spending time in the park and walking for pre-natal stuff.




During the Fall the little man came out. September 2nd was the happiest day of the year. The little man came out after 60 hours of back labor and had a conehead plus blonde hair and blue eyes. I was in the room and now cannot understand why women would ever have children. We moved to West Sacramento into a new condo with more room so he could have his own playroom and the cats have more room to run around.




In the winter we had Caleb dedicated at Graces home church Good Samaritan in Valley Springs. He has grown very much since his birth, he is now over 22 pounds and has not reached 4 months. His 3 loves in life are eating, talking gibberish, and waking up his momma. Grace has been accepted into a couple Med Schools and now is deciding where she wants to go. Merry Christmas to everyone.



Sunday, December 7, 2008

Osama Bin-Hansen???

This is an actual photo of Heath Hansen....


The stories of Heathcliffe Hansen are Multifaceted...i will now explain the unexplainable..in easy to understand numbered points to get to the bottom of what he was CREATED to become...


1. His Bionic Knee - In an effort to cover up his Bionic upgrades, the Taliban engineered a ruse so that "Heaths" recovery would be overlooked, an extremely large 28 year old man substituted at catcher on an opposing baseball team and while Heath was on third, and he was sent home on an infield pop up....and every baseball lover knows that you would never try to score on a sacrifice fly to the second baseman.


2. Unnaturally low voice in 7th grade - When Heath came to school that year his voice was somewhere between James Earl Jones and an emphysema patient. What really happened was he turned 19 that year.... he was really 6 years older than his "brothers" How you ask?? His mother was blackmailed into telling all her neighbors by the Taliban that she was having 3 children, when in fact that day in Holland Hospital only 2 children were born....


3. 98% of his Body is covered in hair - I have never seen his entire body but this is a computer generated image of his body, that is a "Hairrorist" if i ever saw one.

4. Athletic Ability that know no bounds - I have never once seen Luke or Lee foul out of a basketball game on 6 straight charges in the first quarter, the only one is the so called "Hansen" Heath, and the only reason is the other 9 players couldn't keep up with him because he was always 8 to 10 years older than everyone else. It was probably lonely being so advanced at such a young age, and eerily sad for him leading to this fact...

5. He listened to the song Strawberry Wine for 9 consecutive months - No self respecting Dutch Man would listen to such a sad, gay, womanly song on the premise that it was "stuck in his CD player" but an Arab would...

6. He is a Cubs fan - Cheering on a team that will never win a world series with the slogan Wait till next year is akin to believing that strapping a bomb on your body and pressing a button will give you an eternity of 77 virgins.... both are as likely as pigs flying.

So the real question is, Was Heath created to be an assassin, father assassins, bring the American sports landscape to a halt by giving bad therapy to athletes, create a false life for Osama Bin Ladin to step into and hide, or can he de-program himself and the years of indoctrination and live a happy normal life?? We may never know till its too late.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO LUKE HANSEN!!!!

This is a computer generated photo of the events that happened in front of the house of Dave and Diane Hansen in the Spring of 1998..What follows are the accounts of REAL people not trained actors...(If you are looking for Baby Photos Scroll to the end.)What happened this day has forever changed the life of the middle child of Dave and Diane Hansen....LUCAS!!!! If he woke this eventful daying know how it would end he never would have put on one of his many mono colored collared shirts and got ready for school by making his younger and naive brothers sandwich on orders from his MOTHER!!! The trouble really started to happen while driving home from school in his small red nissan......

Jon said " I am so good at basketball that even you and your height challenged hairy younger brother couldnt beat me two on one"

Luke " Its not fair that i have to have Heath on my team... at least let me have Dean who reminds everyone of a young Tim Hardaway with his penchant for knocking down the 3 when needed most"

Jon " Its no fair, whoever has Dean on their team would win hands down, so lets make it even, you have Heath and i get Mike Wittigan (editors note - this was after mike was in the head thingee that held his neck and head on straight for a while so his athletic ability was limited but unbeknownst to us he had trained hard on his game below the rim so his shot and Defense was greatly increased( editors note on editors note - My father did not play him nearly enough in 76er basketball and i can only hope that this drove him to excel like michael jordan getting cut from his high school team.)) And mike i still have your bat in my trunk.

The GAME BEGINS......

Mike W. "Using a move i would like to call the missed shot slammrammaroo,me and Jon started out the game hot and built a solid lead. I remember the taste of victory and the smell of perfectly manicured grass intermingled like it was yesterday."

Luke" All i remember was my dreams being suffocated by this beautiful and long limbed puerto ricans defense, Oh yeah and Heath pissed himself."

Heath " I totally pissed myself"

Jon " Heath pissed all over himself, i remember cause i was hanging from the rim above him and you could hear Mrs Hansen yelling out the window STOP BANGING"

Game Ends 11 - 3 Jon Mike wins!!

Mike " I talked to Luke earlier that day and he was all set on becoming a Pro Basketball Player and Marrying some underclassmen, After that game he walked off the court mumbling something about now he has to be a Surveyor....What the Hell is a Surveyor??? Just google map something if you need to find it, am i right ??"

Heath " That night the moon was red with blood and at 3 in the morning i woke and found Luke standing above me softly brushing my hair and all i could smell was fear"

Luke " I love my life and surveying is what i wanted.......

I cant tell you what might have happened to Luke if he hadnt played in the game that day, what i can tell you is this, Jodi would have still married him.. Im not saying she would have stalked him, but when she would look at him, It was like the Sharks in Finding Nemo... Her eyes would dilate and the hunt was on....

Please comment on who you would like to see next in this blog......




BABY CALEB IS FAT



HE MAKES ME TIRED




HE ALWAYS POSES SO EVERYONE THINKS HE IS CUTE, BUT IN ACUALITY HE REALLY DOESNT LIKE PEOPLE





BUT HE DOES LOVE TRAINS AND THE MOVIE UNDER SIEGE 2 WHEN A BOMB IS ON A TRAIN





THIS IS HIS FACE WHEN HE LISTENS TO DADDY TALK TO ERIC ABOUT ERIC NOT VISITING EVEN THOUGH DADDY BOUGHT A PS3 THEY COULD PLAY ALL NIGHT WHILE SIMMING YEARS OF BASEBALL FRANCHISES AT A TIME...