HAPPY HOLIDAYS

This Post is a Holiday Letter to all you Family and Friends

Early on in the year we found out that the little buddy was on the way. Finding out was the most exciting and frightening moment in our life. Living in Davis still and concentrating on school was her priority and i was working and driving to the Bay Area everyday.

In the summer Grace graduated from UC Davis with Honors and started studying for the MCAT, she aced it and currently is Interviewing with many schools. I starting playing baseball again and was pitching for the Blue Jays in the NABA. It was hot most of the summer and we had fun spending time in the park and walking for pre-natal stuff.

During the Fall the little man came out. September 2nd was the happiest day of the year. The little man came out after 60 hours of back labor and had a conehead plus blonde hair and blue eyes. I was in the room and now cannot understand why women would ever have children. We moved to West Sacramento into a new condo with more room so he could have his own playroom and the cats have more room to run around.

In the winter we had Caleb dedicated at Graces home church Good Samaritan in Valley Springs. He has grown very much since his birth, he is now over 22 pounds and has not reached 4 months. His 3 loves in life are eating, talking gibberish, and waking up his momma. Grace has been accepted into a couple Med Schools and now is deciding where she wants to go. Merry Christmas to everyone.

Osama Bin-Hansen???

This is an actual photo of Heath Hansen....

The stories of Heathcliffe Hansen are Multifaceted...i will now explain the unexplainable..in easy to understand numbered points to get to the bottom of what he was CREATED to become...

1. His Bionic Knee - In an effort to cover up his Bionic upgrades, the Taliban engineered a ruse so that "Heaths" recovery would be overlooked, an extremely large 28 year old man substituted at catcher on an opposing baseball team and while Heath was on third, and he was sent home on an infield pop up....and every baseball lover knows that you would never try to score on a sacrifice fly to the second baseman.

2. Unnaturally low voice in 7th grade - When Heath came to school that year his voice was somewhere between James Earl Jones and an emphysema patient. What really happened was he turned 19 that year.... he was really 6 years older than his "brothers" How you ask?? His mother was blackmailed into telling all her neighbors by the Taliban that she was having 3 children, when in fact that day in Holland Hospital only 2 children were born....

3. 98% of his Body is covered in hair - I have never seen his entire body but this is a computer generated image of his body, that is a "Hairrorist" if i ever saw one.

4. Athletic Ability that know no bounds - I have never once seen Luke or Lee foul out of a basketball game on 6 straight charges in the first quarter, the only one is the so called "Hansen" Heath, and the only reason is the other 9 players couldn't keep up with him because he was always 8 to 10 years older than everyone else. It was probably lonely being so advanced at such a young age, and eerily sad for him leading to this fact...

5. He listened to the song Strawberry Wine for 9 consecutive months - No self respecting Dutch Man would listen to such a sad, gay, womanly song on the premise that it was "stuck in his CD player" but an Arab would...

6. He is a Cubs fan - Cheering on a team that will never win a world series with the slogan Wait till next year is akin to believing that strapping a bomb on your body and pressing a button will give you an eternity of 77 virgins.... both are as likely as pigs flying.

So the real question is, Was Heath created to be an assassin, father assassins, bring the American sports landscape to a halt by giving bad therapy to athletes, create a false life for Osama Bin Ladin to step into and hide, or can he de-program himself and the years of indoctrination and live a happy normal life?? We may never know till its too late.

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO LUKE HANSEN!!!!

This is a computer generated photo of the events that happened in front of the house of Dave and Diane Hansen in the Spring of 1998..What follows are the accounts of REAL people not trained actors...(If you are looking for Baby Photos Scroll to the end.)What happened this day has forever changed the life of the middle child of Dave and Diane Hansen....LUCAS!!!! If he woke this eventful daying know how it would end he never would have put on one of his many mono colored collared shirts and got ready for school by making his younger and naive brothers sandwich on orders from his MOTHER!!! The trouble really started to happen while driving home from school in his small red nissan......

Jon said " I am so good at basketball that even you and your height challenged hairy younger brother couldnt beat me two on one"

Luke " Its not fair that i have to have Heath on my team... at least let me have Dean who reminds everyone of a young Tim Hardaway with his penchant for knocking down the 3 when needed most"

Jon " Its no fair, whoever has Dean on their team would win hands down, so lets make it even, you have Heath and i get Mike Wittigan (editors note - this was after mike was in the head thingee that held his neck and head on straight for a while so his athletic ability was limited but unbeknownst to us he had trained hard on his game below the rim so his shot and Defense was greatly increased( editors note on editors note - My father did not play him nearly enough in 76er basketball and i can only hope that this drove him to excel like michael jordan getting cut from his high school team.)) And mike i still have your bat in my trunk.

The GAME BEGINS......

Mike W. "Using a move i would like to call the missed shot slammrammaroo,me and Jon started out the game hot and built a solid lead. I remember the taste of victory and the smell of perfectly manicured grass intermingled like it was yesterday."

Luke" All i remember was my dreams being suffocated by this beautiful and long limbed puerto ricans defense, Oh yeah and Heath pissed himself."

Heath " I totally pissed myself"

Jon " Heath pissed all over himself, i remember cause i was hanging from the rim above him and you could hear Mrs Hansen yelling out the window STOP BANGING"

Game Ends 11 - 3 Jon Mike wins!!

Mike " I talked to Luke earlier that day and he was all set on becoming a Pro Basketball Player and Marrying some underclassmen, After that game he walked off the court mumbling something about now he has to be a Surveyor....What the Hell is a Surveyor??? Just google map something if you need to find it, am i right ??"

Heath " That night the moon was red with blood and at 3 in the morning i woke and found Luke standing above me softly brushing my hair and all i could smell was fear"

Luke " I love my life and surveying is what i wanted.......

I cant tell you what might have happened to Luke if he hadnt played in the game that day, what i can tell you is this, Jodi would have still married him.. Im not saying she would have stalked him, but when she would look at him, It was like the Sharks in Finding Nemo... Her eyes would dilate and the hunt was on....

Please comment on who you would like to see next in this blog......

BABY CALEB IS FAT

HE MAKES ME TIRED

HE ALWAYS POSES SO EVERYONE THINKS HE IS CUTE, BUT IN ACUALITY HE REALLY DOESNT LIKE PEOPLE

BUT HE DOES LOVE TRAINS AND THE MOVIE UNDER SIEGE 2 WHEN A BOMB IS ON A TRAIN

THIS IS HIS FACE WHEN HE LISTENS TO DADDY TALK TO ERIC ABOUT ERIC NOT VISITING EVEN THOUGH DADDY BOUGHT A PS3 THEY COULD PLAY ALL NIGHT WHILE SIMMING YEARS OF BASEBALL FRANCHISES AT A TIME...

Nida Visited

The ladies love Caleb(white meat) Rodriguez

Happy Family

The Ocean Spray dries out my sweet supple baby skin so they wrapped me up good.

Mommy hates this picture, but Daddy thinks she is hot....Daddy is going to get in trouble.

I am trying to talk already, i know three words.. Cooo. Cooo. and GIVE ME MILK!!!

DADDY........Tastes like chicken!!!

NOT EVEN CLOSE TO MY SIZE DADDY

How can a President be elected that hasnt done anything....

I am dreaming of a day when i can have Chocolate Milk

These Bums are in my stroller

Whatever happened to Uncle Eric???

This blog is my attempt through my new born son to have an intervention for my friend Eric Nuetzling....... So if you do not know Eric just enjoy the pictures....


Daddy says his friend Eric used to be cool and like baseball and meat.... Now he talks of nothing but raw food and living in small houses.
Daddy says Eric used to love stealing online music and making great mix CDs for his friends...now he blogs about giving away all his great entertainment...

Mommy told me tonight that Eric talks a big game about being homeless but isnt it funny that he owns a home he doesnt live in and takes vacations whenever he wants??

This is the face i would have if Eric visited and we went to a ball game and ate salted meats with my dad..... but he doesnt want to..

I love hugging my mommy..... her skin is soft from all the animal meat she eats, Erics is rough like sand paper...i pray he stops trying to be like Prince Fielder every night... noone should try to emulate a man named prince.

I am dreaming of a day when my Dad and Eric will play on the same baseball team and Eric's brittle bones wont break from the lack of protein.....

Why hello........ I have taken the baby hostage and wont give him back unless you give me more treatsies.... Bwahahaha...

This is me and Dad .... He cries and bites his pillow as he falls asleep, weeping for Eric to come home by driving his RX7 with the top off up the driveway with fireworks and toilet paper ready to cause havoc then drive up and down the grand haven strip listening to edwin mccain and ma$e.....

R.I.P. 2008
Eric "Shaft" Nuetzling

I am pouring out one for me and one for my dead homie.....

CHUBBY CHEEKS!!

Yes ladies, this is 100% all natural man beef. Lookings free but touchings gonna cost you.

I am 83% Cheeks
This is me pondering all of life's great questions like " To Cry or Not to Cry "
one thousand, one thousand one..... oh i didnt see you there just feeling the burn, you know that deep burn you get when you lift at the gym.
Someone ripped open a pillow? how terrible, no i know nothing of this pillow you speak of.... oh this one i am laying on? Stephen must have slipped it under me, i'm innocent.

Obama REAL executive experience

This article about Barack Obama and his involvement with the leadership of the Weatherman project of the 60's makes me sick. This is the first time in my life i want to seperate myself from the Chicago White Sox since Barack is also a fan of them.


http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122212856075765367.html

A website that sells an interesting video about the lack of true intellectual diversity in our higher education and the effects on young students. Our tax dollars at work.

www.indoctrinateu.com

Economic Bailout

Why do members of the national legislature give away your money as fast as it can be borrowed? Because they want campaign donations. Polls show Americans don't like the idea of public funding for House and Senate elections, because it seems like a giveaway. But the public already funds congressional elections, just in an incredibly overpriced, inefficient way. Members of the House and Senate give away billions of dollars in subsidies and tax breaks to special-interest groups, in order to get back thousands of dollars in campaign donations. The $150 billion or so in sweetheart handouts in the bailout legislation will probably result in several million additional dollars given to House and Senate members as campaign donations. It would be far, far cheaper for taxpayers just to fund congressional campaigns! Suppose the public funded each House race at $1 million (435 races every second year) split between the parties, and each Senate race at $5 million split (roughly 34 races every second year), then banned campaign contributions. (Skip whether the Supreme Court would allow the latter, this is a thought experiment.) The cost would be about $600 million every second year, when there are national elections. That's peanuts compared to the amounts House and Senate incumbents give away to PAC-backed lobbies in order to inspire campaign donations. Federal financing of House and Senate races would save the public tens, if not hundreds, of billions of dollars.

Why are we here? In Part cause in april, the governors boasted about balancing their states' budgets while wagging their fingers at Washington -- yet about a fifth of the typical state's non-Medicaid revenue comes from Washington. That is, the federal government expands the national debt so that states can appear to have balanced budgets, creating a switcheroo in which taxpayers are angry at Washington when they should be angry at their statehouses.
Here's the update. New York state has a $6.4 billion budget shortfall in the current fiscal year, second only to California's budget problem. Recently, New York Gov. David Paterson asked the state's legislature for $1.2 billion in spending cuts -- meaning the Empire State volunteered to take responsibility for only a fraction of its self-created problem -- then called on Washington to hand Albany the rest of the money: $5.2 billion. Paterson said, "We are going to have to turn to the federal government for help." So New York is not willing to make significant spending cuts and not willing to tax itself; but perfectly happy to demand that voters in other states be taxed to bail out New York! Last week, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said the state would ask the federal government for a $7 billion loan. So California is not willing to tax itself to solve its self-created budget problems, but perfectly happy to demand that voters in other states be taxed to bail out California!
Perhaps this is what should be expected when Washington is so poorly run; the nation's capitol seems like little more than a giveaway machine. Yet numerous states, including Colorado, Oregon and Pennsylvania, have budgets in fine shpare because they did not overspend, as New York and California did; or saved during surplus years (all states had a combined $74 billion surplus in fiscal 2006 -- the responsible states saved some of that amount); or are not plagued by official corruption. Why should the people who live in states that spend carefully and pay their own way be compelled to subsidize government waste and kickbacks in California and New York? And why do the mainstream media continue to depict governors as fiscally paladins when so many shift their problems, and their debts, to Washington?
Here is evidence that the fiscal switcheroo favors governors politically. Polling data from the Pew Center shows that only 37 percent of Americans have a positive impression of the federal government, while 59 percent have a positive impression of state government. Remove the bookkeeping gimmicks that send federal money to the states and state taxes would rise while the national debt declined. Favorable-impression rankings surely would improve for Washington, while governors would decline in popularity.

This information comes from one of my favorite columnists Greg Easterbrook.

Tired Parents

Mommy with Baby
Kissing Baby
Tired Daddy
Farmers have long days
When i want something i do this...